HAVE YOU MASTERED THE ART OF QUESTIONING?
“I’m always asking questions, not to find answers, but to see where the questions lead. Dead-ends sometimes? That’s fine. New directions? Interesting. Great insights? Over-ambitious. A glimpse here and there? Perfect.”
~ Leslie Hazleton
HOW WELL… how often do you ask questions? Or do you find yourself instead making strong, declaratory statements? Most “bosses” don’t think about this – they’re impatient, perhaps insecure; often cynical about the abilities, skills, brainpower, motives of others (brokers, team members, industry leaders, politicians, even clients). But asking the right questions, in the most effective way, is a BIG part of your job. Probing, questioning, listening, holding yourself and others accountable, making collaborative (versus unilateral) decisions – these are important business skills, whether it’s leading a real estate team, a group of volunteers, or preparing to take on that big project, client, or presentation. We’ve all experienced times when we failed (miserably) at being a good questioner, perhaps not realizing it at the time. If you’re having difficulty closing deals, getting others to follow your sage direction … doing everything yourself, it could be you’re not asking enough questions, or the right kind of questions.
Here are three areas where improved “questioning” can strengthen your effectiveness as a manager, parent, den mother, or real estate counselor:
- First is the ability to ask questions about yourself. Good managers are always asking themselves and others about what YOU could do better or differently. Finding the right time and approach for asking these questions invites constructive and candid responses. CAUTION: You may have to bite your tongue after asking this!
- Second is the ability to ask questions about plans and projects. But do so in a way that not only advances the work, but helps those involved to learn and develop. This does not mean your questions can’t be hard and direct, but the probing needs to be in the spirit of accelerating progress (not squashing it). Unfortunately, some people ask questions either to prove they’re the smartest one in the room, or make others uneasy. The best leaders engage in dialogue that helps people reach their own conclusions about what can be done to improve a plan or project.
- Finally… asking questions about the organization. Seek out ways the entire group can function more effectively. To do this, ask questions about current practices, processes, structure. Why do we do things this way? Is there a better approach? Asking these in a way that does not trigger defensiveness is a very important skill.
“When you stop learning, stop listening, stop looking and asking questions, always new questions, then it is time to die.”
~ Lillian Smith